Zombies are Coming

I originally wanted this to be the title of my blog. I had it all planned out. There was nothing I could write about that I couldn’t somehow link back to the fact that we are due for a zombie apocalypse. School stuff? I need to drop out because zombies are coming. Recipes? You know the person who can make anything taste good will be valuable once the apocalypse hits. Artwork? We all need some culture in our lives before we’re running for them. Should I rename my blog?

Anyway, let’s get serious here for a moment: Almost anyone in our generation has this ¬†little thought (/wish) in the back of their minds that tells them zombies are coming. And that fascinates me. I honestly think there’s something to it. Why do we secretly want this to happen? Let’s explore…

1. The environment. We’re pretty much destroying it. Stuff will survive, but we will not. Unless some changes are made.

2. Politics. In the US, but all over the world to. Congress is a bunch of babies, on both sides. Political campaigns are centered around sticking it to the other side instead of addressing actual issues, and don’t get me started on all the issues.

3. My favorite soapbox: We’re disinfecting too much. Lysol must be trying to kill us. The truth is, being exposed to the scary stuff builds immunities. You know the .01% that isn’t being killed? That’s the strongest stuff. And now all it has to breed with is the other .01% from across the street, resulting in even stronger, more resistant stuff. Everyone’s so worried about the next big disease, which is ironic because we’re being extremely helpful in its production.

4. The economy. That is all.

So that’s the basics of my social theory, but really I think it all comes down to the innate fear of disease, and we’re due for an outbreak of something nasty. Remember how everyone flipped over swine flu? Yeah, that’s why. Researchers are actually running scenarios of a zombie outbreak – how it would function, spread, etc. and the general idea is that it will be a disease that affects the brain somehow. The research is helping with the studies of actual problems, which is awesome. I may look for some sources later to back myself up, but just do a search for this stuff and I’m sure you’ll find it.

What I can back up is that the CDC posted an actual survival guide for the zombie apocalypse that got so many hits they had to shut down the website temporarily when it was first released. It was the smartest thing the CDC has ever done, in my opinion. Will there be a zombie outbreak? Probably not. But people read the article anyway, and now they have basic survival knowledge for an actual disaster. Fooled you, America!

So there’s all the stuff you didn’t care about, now on to the fun part: My plan.

I actually have several, which I think is a good thing. My favorite is joining up with my friends and becoming nomads/gypsies. The zombies can’t corner us if we’re mobile. I’ve got scenarios for staying in Boone, staying in the mountains, and even going to the coast to become pirates (can zombies swim?) A few people have said they’d come get me and let me join their group. I think it’s because I can cook. Better start practicing those recipes, folks.